Study Abroad: London Fall 2015 #8 “Sleep Deprived Tour”
10th of September 2015
I was supposed to wake up at 8:30 but instead I woke up at 9:08 to the sound of David knocking on my door. I had to throw on whatever clothing I could find and head out without brushing my teeth or washing my face. I never brush my hair, so that wasn’t a big deal.
OK, David ran so fucking fast and skipped steps on the stairs. I’m sick, I’m in tight jeans and boots, and I have short legs. Uhhhhhhhhh. Even though I catch up to Salsa and Echo, we go down to the platform, see the train doors close, and watch David wave to us as the train leaves.
We finally meet up with the class at Brixton at 9:30, 30 minutes before class starts. Before our professor can say anything, a beggar comes up, straight faced, and asks for 80 pence.
My professor tried to tell him to just wait, but the beggar interrupts, “I can tell a joke to make it worthwhile.”
I didn’t hear the joke, but it was a British inside joke, and our professor said, “uh they’re from America they won’t get it,” hinting for him to go away.
The beggar pauses for a second, unfazed, and says, “OK then another joke.”
Our professor is about to say, “Oh please that’s not necess-,” but the beggar interrupts again, “what kind of bees make milk?”
The beggar, still straight faced, says, “OK. I see I’m just embarrassing myself I’ll just go-” At this point, our professor just took out a pound and gave it to him.
After that, our professor finally has our attention and says, “go around the market for about thirty minutes and uh read between the lines.” He didn’t even take attendance. I could’ve actually taken the time to get ready and still have class participation. I walk around aimlessly with Ambiguous Asian, and I honestly can’t remember what we spoke about. I remember thinking to myself, “I’ll write about her in my blog today.” However, I was very tired (and I’m still very tired right now) so I was probably zoning out the whole time. Oops. What I do remember is that I enjoyed her company. When we get back to the meeting point at around 10:00, I decide to get a meal from Starbucks. I look outside the window from the line and see that the tour guide is already meeting with them. I could’ve dropped my food and just join them, but no fucks were given. I see them wave at me from the outside, and I just wave back. I’m hungry. There’s no way I’m getting out of this Starbucks without some food. Nothing can break this bond.
So our professor finally takes attendance just to dip, and we’re left alone with a tour guide.
“This tour will be an hour,” she says.
Fucking lie. It was two hours.
“Oh we’ll be back at this point in 45 minutes,” she says.
Bitch be fucking lying again. It took us an hour to get back.
[Insert why the fuck you lying song.]
So after the tour, a group consisting of Word Problems, Adverse Chamber, Ambiguous Asian, Always Looks Stoned (ALS), Icelandic Blonde, and me decided to have lunch. First, we decide on Thai food. We walk past a Thai place, but we keep walking around. “OK,” I think to myself, “there must be another place somewhere.”
We circled back to the first Thai place. The problem, however, was that they don’t accept credit cards, and it’s too fucking expensive. We tell WP this.
ALS says, “Does anyone not have cash?”
I say, “Well I don’t have cash.”
“Who doesn’t have cash?” Someone else asks.
Again, I reply, “I do not have cash.”
“Does someone not have cash?” Yet another person asks.
“I only have a card,” I say once more, too tired to express irritation.
Finally, WP says, “Oh well I can lend you some money.”
Ahem. Bitch, I do not want to be in debt for anything £7.50 and higher. No, I don’t play that game.
“Well, even if we do pay in cash, it’s too expensive.” Someone says.
WP responds, “Oh but well, you’re not gonna find anything cheaper than £7.50.”
Right away, Icelandic Blonde says, “Hey there’s 3 tacos for £6.”
Everyone is interested.
Except for WP, who says, “Can we do something that’s NOT Mexican?”
This results in us walking in another huge circle. Finally, we split off, and IB, ALS, Ambiguous Asian, and I decide to get sandwiches from this little corner shop. IB was kind enough to lend me some pounds. The guy who owned the place was very social and we enjoyed conversing with him about languages. That sentence sounded so pretentious, but it really was nice.
ALS decided to put a spicy sauce in his sandwich, but like a little bitch, he couldn’t take the heat.
IB and I go to the classrooms together to get our tickets for the performance, while ALS and Ambiguous Asian go back to the flats. When IB and I get there, everyone has evacuated the building. I see Warren, and immediately go up to him. Apparently, there was a bag with an unknown owner, so that’s why everyone had to leave and they sounded the fire alarm. The other English professor goes up to everyone and tells them to take 15 minutes to go around and come back. I went with Warren to the market. He bought apple juice for the teacher and he was given 2 points extra credit. Our principal comes up to us when we come back and says to take another hour. Asian LaGanja, Warren, and I go to Leon, but only about twenty minutes had passed when Miss Model snapchats them that class has started. So we walk back, I get my ticket, and I leave.
I took a 2 hour nap.
I woke up.
I went to the theatre to see Pomona, and freaking Alyssa Edwards called Chilipino and I awkward. I just had to put that out there. I like to start shit.
So the play is too hard to describe. I mean, it was amazing and confusing and dark and still funny somehow. The stage was a heptagon, and a major theme was cycling and repetition. There was prostitution, murder, rape, domestic abuse, violence, etc. The tech was a significant factor to the whole feeling of it. The way the lights and sound worked amplified the actors’ performance. IDK I liked it.
ALTHOUGH I had to sit next to Prioritize and Lindsay and it was just. No.
I got a milkshake after. Cool.
Now I’m back in the flat. I might add more later.
1. Get your ticket early so you don’t have to be sandwiched between two of the scawiest people ever.
2. Even if you wake up late, don’t give a fuck. Get ready and make yourself feel clean, because you’re going to feel shitty for the time period that you are just wallowing around in your own filth.