Study Abroad: London Fall 2015 #7 “Soft”

Study Abroad: London Fall 2015 #7 “Soft”

9th of September 2015

So I forgot to talk about this yesterday: Mustache’s and Chilipino’s arguments are the greatest things ever and I live for them.

For example:

Two nights ago:

Mustache: “You’re so gay… you’re so stupid… you’re so fat…” *more insults*

Chilipino: *covers Mustache’s face with a pillow*

The next day~

Chlipino’s side of the story: “He was being mean to me!”

Mustache’s side of the story: “That bitch tried to suffocate me.”

So my day started out with going to class with Salsa and Annoying Asian, and oh my god, they are not discrete at all. They purposefully started walking slower just to stare at some girl’s butt. tsk tsk.

Then we got to class, and the immaturity continued. People took advantage of the fact that our professor is old and can’t hear well, so people started playing the penis game. This is all I heard for a bit:





Of course, I did my own version of immaturity. These were notes I wrote to my boyfriend on post-its:

“LOL do you like me?” Box: yes Box: no

“Why you no lurv meh?”

He would check “no” or tell me to go away and such, and I would start whining. Because of this, he called me “soft,” and Whitezican heard, and he said, “Hahaha, he called you fat. Cause soft means fat.” He just likes to start shit, oh my god.

And then I wrote a “kick me” sign and put it on the back of his chair, and people actually kicked him. It was great.

Then, I was talking to Whitezican and Annoying Asian about this situation back in Berkeley:

Me: “I’m tired, I’m just going to go sleep in my room already.”

Boyfriend: “No, here’s my key. Go to my room and sleep. I’ll be with you soon.”

~3:00 AM~

I wake up to someone fondling and caressing me.

A tired Renee: “hmm? hhhmmuh?”

Boyfriend: “Are you tired?”

A tired Renee: “mmm.”

So when they heard about that, Whitezican said, “That’s disgusting,” but Annoying Asian said, “Well, I would like it.”

Whitezican: “So if some dude comes up to you and does that at night-”

Annoying Asian: “OK wait. I mean if it was someone I liked, like a hot girl. Then, sure, why not?”

Whitezican: “Well, I doubt [Boyfriend’s name] is the hot girl to Renee’s Annoying Asian.”

After class, I don’t know why, but I was being incredibly silly:

Me to Boyfriend: “I’m tired.”

Boyfriend: “Well go nap when we’re back.”

Me: “I want coffee.”

Boyfriend: “Well OK, let’s go get coffee.”

~walks for a bit~

Me: “I’m hungry.”

Boyfriend: “OK, so you’re tired, you want coffee, but you also want to eat. What do you want to do?”

Me: “…Eat.”

Boyfriend: “OK, where?”

Me: “hmmmmmmmmmmmmm I don’t know”

Boyfriend: “OH MY GOD WOMAN.”

Eventually we went to Leon, went back to the flat, and ate. I finally got to take my nap. I had a dream about some sort of futuristic factory that created sexy women, but then I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend coming into my room.

I don’t like talking too much when I just wake up, so he kept treating me like a baby cause all I would make were whining sounds….

Our conversation was pretty chaotic…

Me: “Why’d you wake me up…..hmnh hhhnm”

Him: “Cause you told me to wake you up at 8.”

Me: *calmly* “What time is it?” *checks phone* “8:47. BOYFFRRIRIRIRIEIEENENENDD you woke me up laaatttteeeeeee”


Him: “Come on, get up.”




Him: *Tries to touch my belly*

Me: *recoils* “NYOOOOO. You’re cold. I’m warm.”


Him: “Stop whining and acting like a child.”

Me: “OK… OK motherfucker. Give me my motherfucking phone… Jesus Christ you’re being so goddamn annoying. You just come into my motherfucking room like whatever, but no. This is my room.” *takes phone* *reverts back to original voice* “I wanna play my game”

Him: “OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO STUPID.” ***please note this is a term of endearment by him… this whole time he had been laughing at me and being affectionate. This is just me being a difficult girlfriend*

Finally, we go to his flat, and Warren walks in. He showed me his phone and told me to double tap the percentage sign. So I did and all of a sudden, I hear Siri say, “Nigger.”

Then after that, he did some stuff to his phone, and I double tapped again, and this is what happened:

Siri: “You have no friends”

Notification pops up: “Yes you Renee.”


—So I don’t know how much I’ll be able to add due to essay writing soooooo?—


So we all went into Warren’s room and this happened:

Warren: “But you mentioned something specifically about Spells and a backstory in your blog.”

Me: “Wait, no, did I? WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?”

Warren: “Uh…”

Me: “How did you find my blog?”

Warren: “Copy and paste URL.”


Warren: “Salsa sent it to me.”

Salsa: “Wait what?”

The Indian: “How do you spell cocaine?”

Salsa: “I thought the whole controversy was that he had already read the blog.”


Then all the excuses Warren gave me about how he found part of the blog:

“I’m good at dee internets.”

“I just called the illuminati and asked, “hey do you know where I can find Renee’s blog?”


1. Don’t let anyone know you’re napping. They’ll come for you.


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